jealousy is a sin

Have you ever been envious of a friend when you shouldn't? Have you ever felt that the bond between you and another friend is slowly tearing apart? Have you ever felt jealous of another friend because your close friend has became their close friend instead? My answer to all those questions is a yes, unfortunately. I dare not to have another best friend because the trepidation of losing them and yet, here I am, watching a far, and being sombre, as I watch two of my closest friends become the best of friends. I feel envious at how they can just become such good friends in a blink of an eye. I feel upset because I thought I've just lost my closest CLOSEST friend that I would call a best friend. I, for one, can not blame them. There's no blame to be put upon here and yet, I feel that it's my fault that I haven't tried hard enough to make that rope stronger. We have discussed about this before .. and yet, the issue is still floating around my head and once in a while I would contemplate about it with sadness and jealousy inside my heart. I dislike this feeling very much for I am happy for both of them to have such a great friend because both of them are a friend worth cherishing, and I would do almost anything to keep them so I shan't complain and whine like a little baby. As long as I know they will be there for me, I shall not be filled with jealousy. But, I know I will forever have a mark left in my heart somewhere due to this predicament.