Sometimes, when inexplicable, terrible situations happen, you wonder if it is possible to actually 'calculate' what will happen in order for the situation to NOT occur later on. Titan and I were walking to her house and she told me how she hates the song 'As Long As You Love Me' by Backstreet Boys but she still sings it. She hates song because of the lyrics, how nonsense they sounded. 'Who you are, where you're from' - she thinks that it's wrong to not care about the background of your lover. She said she wouldn't go out with someone that had a criminal record or was mentally unstable. Of course, I'd agree with her on that point, but I think sometimes these things can't be stopped. Sometimes, if you're really are in love you can't stop yourself loving who you love. Titan, on the other hand, believes that if you can calculate and plan all these things out you'll live life better. It may be true to some extent but I think life is too temperamental to actually know what will actually happen.
She thinks that life is full of shades. I believe so too. She believes that there are more dark shades than white. I disagree. I believe in ying and yang. I believe that there are as much black and there are white. White may be rare to find, but it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I said if she met the whole world yet. We're just too young to be resolute about something. She said she hasn't but she knows it's like. She called me immature. You know, when we call each other immature before we all agreed and went being silly about it. However, as we slowly sink into seniorhood, being immature can be quite distant, maybe even insulting at times. I may be immature at times, but coming from someone who was almost just as immature as me? Even worse. I mean, we were just asking about our opinions and she called me immature for my thoughts? I did not call her immature about what she was thinking about it. Jerry called me immature. It might've hurt, but I accepted it because he was older than me. He knows more than me. Immature. HA! I laugh at the face of immaturity. Not.
What about second chances? You don't know how much a second chance can mean to a person in need of it. The most precious and amazing things about second chances are that not many can give them, even though they say they can, and giving them to people who didn't realise how much they need it and that how much it can change their lives. It's true. Life is becoming shadier, and in darker side too.
Sometimes, people will know you. They'll use you, and leave you, like what you'll do to them. In the end, you'll just have very few true friends. This was what my chemistry teacher told me. Mrs. Rogers. I confided in her the other day. All the stress, all my depression, all my woes, all my issues. In the end, I realised I might not be over it. All this time, I thought I was, when I actually wasn't. Back to square one. You don't really know who you're friends really are now. All this insecurity, it seems to build up more and more and I have no idea how to reduce it. People ask me why all this insecurity, I don't really know myself. I don't really know who to talk to anymore. They just seem to bolt up their emotions towards me instead. Been there, done that - twice. They think I have a problem. Well guess what, I DO BUDDY. I DAMN DO! Want to fix that? Then fix me then, because I sure do need a knight in shinning armor right now. But I know, by the end of the day, there won't be anyone. And I'll be left outside, in the cold, again. I'm tired. Really tired. Physically. Mentally. I'm practically forcing myself to be cheery, go with the flow, out-of-this-world happy just to stable my emotions. I'm going to explode one day - and I have no idea when.
Saturday 21 June 2008
Accepted!
GUESS WHAT PEOPLE?! I got ACCEPTED into the World Youth Day Event! WOOT WOOT! So this coming Wednesday I'll be going for training. Unfortunately, at Hurstville again. Not that I mind or anything. It's just so far. But I guess it's better than North Ryde right? Almost forgot, I need to call Jenny L. up as soon as possible to tell her that I made it! WOOT WOOT! I just need to find a way to tell her . . . I need to tell Crystal as well! She went to the training just yesterday. I wonder how it went for her? Mandy said she'll be there to buy stuff off of me! LOL! YOU GUYS BETTER BE THERE xD! Anyways, that's all I had to say for this blog xD!
Friday 20 June 2008
revealing the stakes
14O6O8 - Danny C.'s 16th Birthday.
18O6O8 - Mousawi's 16th Birthday.
19O6O8 - Shain's 16th Birthday.
Before I talk about the ulterior reason for this blog, I'd like to mention about a hilarious incident Katty and I had the other day at Cabramatta toilets. Both of us needed to go to the toilet urgently, so we went to Katty's mum's material shop to get a key to open the toilets near buy. However, when we got there, we were 'trying' to open the door and Katty thought she closed it. It took us about 10 - 15 minutes of trying before giving up and asking one of the ladies to help. She told us to 'turn and then turn again' (something along the lines) and we tried again. Katty's so talented! She can speak both Chinese and Vietnamese. I find anyone talented who can speak more than 2 languages moderately fluent xD. I just know two moderately fluent - English and Chinese. Anyways, after another couple of minutes I questioned out loud if the door was actually open and we're not just pulling hard enough. I pushed and pulled and finally, I slid the door. And guess what? IT ACTUALLY OPENED! After long minutes of attempting to open the door, not only was it already open but you're suppose to slide it ROFLMAOS! That seriously made my day xD!
Anyways, back to the main topic. Thomas, Mitchell, Peter, Kelly, Anthony and I moved to Mrs. Wardman's only 2 unit maths class. Our previous class has changed into a general maths class. I was anticipating, and fearing, about the moves all at the same time. I was scared that I'll be 'forced' to be in general maths. *sigh* so much is at stake. Some 3 unit students are going to drop down to the 2 unit class and then if you don't pass, you'll be pushed down to general. I quite miss the others. I do believe that some of them are actually capable of working 'continuously' hard enough. I highlight continuously because sometimes, people just get lazy and their best abilities won't shine through the obstacles. For example, Minh. He said that he once continuously did the same exercises over and over again and he received a 90%+ mark. That's why, I feel kind of bad that some people, who actually wants the 2 unit and is capable of it but don't try as hard as they can to get it. Yes, people may say that no pain no gain, if they don't try hard enough then tough luck. It's true, but sometimes it may be exceptional. Sometimes, their best isn't good enough. Passing isn't good enough. Now, you have to pass AND get good results. Be best of the best. I thought about going to general at one stage, I mean, Mrs. Diep was right when she said that we should worry about getting the marks for the UAI before worrying about the courses acquired to get into the course. But then I thought:
PSS. There's so many cheaters in this world that it's not funny. Is there no more justice in this world any more? Is 'good always prevail over evil' becoming too cliche that the world is gradually, psychologically, changing it so that evil will eventually prevail over good instead? Cheating is bad, being an open, shameless cheater is even worse.
18O6O8 - Mousawi's 16th Birthday.
19O6O8 - Shain's 16th Birthday.
Before I talk about the ulterior reason for this blog, I'd like to mention about a hilarious incident Katty and I had the other day at Cabramatta toilets. Both of us needed to go to the toilet urgently, so we went to Katty's mum's material shop to get a key to open the toilets near buy. However, when we got there, we were 'trying' to open the door and Katty thought she closed it. It took us about 10 - 15 minutes of trying before giving up and asking one of the ladies to help. She told us to 'turn and then turn again' (something along the lines) and we tried again. Katty's so talented! She can speak both Chinese and Vietnamese. I find anyone talented who can speak more than 2 languages moderately fluent xD. I just know two moderately fluent - English and Chinese. Anyways, after another couple of minutes I questioned out loud if the door was actually open and we're not just pulling hard enough. I pushed and pulled and finally, I slid the door. And guess what? IT ACTUALLY OPENED! After long minutes of attempting to open the door, not only was it already open but you're suppose to slide it ROFLMAOS! That seriously made my day xD!
Anyways, back to the main topic. Thomas, Mitchell, Peter, Kelly, Anthony and I moved to Mrs. Wardman's only 2 unit maths class. Our previous class has changed into a general maths class. I was anticipating, and fearing, about the moves all at the same time. I was scared that I'll be 'forced' to be in general maths. *sigh* so much is at stake. Some 3 unit students are going to drop down to the 2 unit class and then if you don't pass, you'll be pushed down to general. I quite miss the others. I do believe that some of them are actually capable of working 'continuously' hard enough. I highlight continuously because sometimes, people just get lazy and their best abilities won't shine through the obstacles. For example, Minh. He said that he once continuously did the same exercises over and over again and he received a 90%+ mark. That's why, I feel kind of bad that some people, who actually wants the 2 unit and is capable of it but don't try as hard as they can to get it. Yes, people may say that no pain no gain, if they don't try hard enough then tough luck. It's true, but sometimes it may be exceptional. Sometimes, their best isn't good enough. Passing isn't good enough. Now, you have to pass AND get good results. Be best of the best. I thought about going to general at one stage, I mean, Mrs. Diep was right when she said that we should worry about getting the marks for the UAI before worrying about the courses acquired to get into the course. But then I thought:
- I wanted to make my mum proud and reducing the chance of my relatives looking down upon us.
- I'd rather be studying harder now in a 2 unit course than going through a bridging course because I need the course. It just means I'll have to study even longer.
PSS. There's so many cheaters in this world that it's not funny. Is there no more justice in this world any more? Is 'good always prevail over evil' becoming too cliche that the world is gradually, psychologically, changing it so that evil will eventually prevail over good instead? Cheating is bad, being an open, shameless cheater is even worse.
Friday 13 June 2008
Meeting Ajorned
OH. EM. GEE. IT'S FRIDAY 13th! DUN DUN DUN!
Anyways, on Wednesday I had a chemistry test, an Ext. English assessment due, an English debate and an interview for WYD (World Youth Day) in the afternoon. Oh wells, I failed in my chemistry tests. Thank God it doesn't really count much ... but no excuse for doing so poorly. I guess I still need to improve on my organization and studying skills. I seriously need to buy a tape recorder so I can record all my notes and listen to it ever night or something. Anyways, I think I messed up my Gothic orientation. I preferred my first cliff hanger, than the second part. It was so hard to extend my story, and in the end I tried to do some comic relief. You know ... like 'The Castle of Otranto.' I forgot where the comic relief was, but it was in there somewhere. I'm sure of it... I think? Anyways, after school I went to Hurstville all by myself! OH. EM. GEE! Lisa G. told me a shorter way to get there. I don't know if it's shorter but it sure seemed more confusing, in a way. In the end I managed to get there in time and guess who I saw? YUUKO xD! Unbelievable. I saw her at the Sydenham station but I wasn't sure who it was. I just thought she looked familiar. She and her friend helped me find the Hurstville Entertainment Centre. THANK YOU! Oh, and SORRY for interrupting your schedule xO! Anyways, I hope I'll get in since Kim and Jason got in already. I made some friends there! There was Crystal, Jenny, Susanna and Kristy. Crystal and Jenny were on the same team with me for our assessments. Our first assessment was the cash register T____T! Of course we wouldn't really have to use our brains, but I guess they have test our skills still. I managed to calculate other people's questions right, but when it came to me I was really scared that I would get it wrong! But luckily, I got it right after checking it over in my head a couple of times xD! Next was a creativity assessment. Ours was a play about some make over. It was pretty hilarious because we were singing to a made up Ompa Lumpa song. Next was the group interviews, and then it was promoting clothes or something like that - choose a piece of clothing or jewelery and advertise it. It was okay I guess. Thank God Jenny and Susanna were there because they are from Fairvale High, so it means we'll be going the same way. I came there all by myself because people had some things to do... like Lisa, Jerry, Jeffrey (GRRRR). Anyways, I also saw Susan (Jeffrey's ex.) and she's seems so nice and pretty looking xD! Anyways, Jenny and Susanna are such cool people and they are such good friends to each other. They shouted me food, like sushie and puffy. Let me tell you, puffy is DELICIOUS!!! Nelson told me to try it one day and on Wednesday was the first day I've ever tasted. It was pretty fulfilling as well. I went home pretty late.
PS. Having a proper meal again xP. Given a push to talk to teachers *sigh*. Thought I was over it, but I guess it's still lingering in my nightmares.
PSS. Julie's not gong to tutor anymore xO! She's going to drop 2 unit maths! Oh no! Majority of the people in my class are going to drop it as well! Oh no! But tutor was pretty fun today. Jimmy was so nice as to buy Monita and I a 'V' drink. No wonder it's so addictive! LOL! But it gave me hiccups, and I still have it, and it made me pee O_O. By the way, his toilet is FREAKY ... at night T____T! I needed him to open the lights for me ... WHAT?!
PSSS. Cathleen is giving us (Thi, Maylina, Katty, Jenny and I) the silent treatment because Thi is planning something and we know it but we're not telling her. She WASN"T giving me the silent treatment when I accidentally gave myself away T______T! Stupid me! I LOVE YOU CATHLEEN! xD Actually, it's stupid Thi LOL!
Anyways, on Wednesday I had a chemistry test, an Ext. English assessment due, an English debate and an interview for WYD (World Youth Day) in the afternoon. Oh wells, I failed in my chemistry tests. Thank God it doesn't really count much ... but no excuse for doing so poorly. I guess I still need to improve on my organization and studying skills. I seriously need to buy a tape recorder so I can record all my notes and listen to it ever night or something. Anyways, I think I messed up my Gothic orientation. I preferred my first cliff hanger, than the second part. It was so hard to extend my story, and in the end I tried to do some comic relief. You know ... like 'The Castle of Otranto.' I forgot where the comic relief was, but it was in there somewhere. I'm sure of it... I think? Anyways, after school I went to Hurstville all by myself! OH. EM. GEE! Lisa G. told me a shorter way to get there. I don't know if it's shorter but it sure seemed more confusing, in a way. In the end I managed to get there in time and guess who I saw? YUUKO xD! Unbelievable. I saw her at the Sydenham station but I wasn't sure who it was. I just thought she looked familiar. She and her friend helped me find the Hurstville Entertainment Centre. THANK YOU! Oh, and SORRY for interrupting your schedule xO! Anyways, I hope I'll get in since Kim and Jason got in already. I made some friends there! There was Crystal, Jenny, Susanna and Kristy. Crystal and Jenny were on the same team with me for our assessments. Our first assessment was the cash register T____T! Of course we wouldn't really have to use our brains, but I guess they have test our skills still. I managed to calculate other people's questions right, but when it came to me I was really scared that I would get it wrong! But luckily, I got it right after checking it over in my head a couple of times xD! Next was a creativity assessment. Ours was a play about some make over. It was pretty hilarious because we were singing to a made up Ompa Lumpa song. Next was the group interviews, and then it was promoting clothes or something like that - choose a piece of clothing or jewelery and advertise it. It was okay I guess. Thank God Jenny and Susanna were there because they are from Fairvale High, so it means we'll be going the same way. I came there all by myself because people had some things to do... like Lisa, Jerry, Jeffrey (GRRRR). Anyways, I also saw Susan (Jeffrey's ex.) and she's seems so nice and pretty looking xD! Anyways, Jenny and Susanna are such cool people and they are such good friends to each other. They shouted me food, like sushie and puffy. Let me tell you, puffy is DELICIOUS!!! Nelson told me to try it one day and on Wednesday was the first day I've ever tasted. It was pretty fulfilling as well. I went home pretty late.
PS. Having a proper meal again xP. Given a push to talk to teachers *sigh*. Thought I was over it, but I guess it's still lingering in my nightmares.
PSS. Julie's not gong to tutor anymore xO! She's going to drop 2 unit maths! Oh no! Majority of the people in my class are going to drop it as well! Oh no! But tutor was pretty fun today. Jimmy was so nice as to buy Monita and I a 'V' drink. No wonder it's so addictive! LOL! But it gave me hiccups, and I still have it, and it made me pee O_O. By the way, his toilet is FREAKY ... at night T____T! I needed him to open the lights for me ... WHAT?!
PSSS. Cathleen is giving us (Thi, Maylina, Katty, Jenny and I) the silent treatment because Thi is planning something and we know it but we're not telling her. She WASN"T giving me the silent treatment when I accidentally gave myself away T______T! Stupid me! I LOVE YOU CATHLEEN! xD Actually, it's stupid Thi LOL!
Tuesday 10 June 2008
home is NOT where the heart is
Lately, things are really quite depressing. Everyone seem to be suffering from it as well. Me? I'm currently having issues with my mum. Just thinking about it makes me mad. A couple of days ago I asked my mum to teach how to drive the next day, but she said that if I want her to teach me I would have to sleep at 10 o'clock. From this, I argued with her. I mean, besides her, who can actually sleep at 10 on a Friday night? Definitely not me. I can barely sleep at 12 everyday, let alone 10! The argument became quite heated and in the end, I said that I won't be eating dinner. She said fine. The next couple of days, she didn't even cook anything for me, nor did she leave me an ingredients for me to cook for myself. In the end, I just had instant noodles, some lettuce and a couple of eggs to eat. I've been starving for a couple of days. Monday was Queen's Birthday. William and Christina came over to work on our English debate. We didn't do much. We went out to e at later and I even needed William to shout me $2. I feel so bad. My self esteem just went down the pipe. Anyways, today I had a chemistry and I actually wanted to wake up early and go to the school library to study in the morning. But no. My alarm was ringing, but I didn't look at it. After all, I set it to ring at 7:35PM so I thought even after a couple of rings it wouldn't be that late ... right? My mum came in and asked me if I was going to school today. I answered with a yes. She said, if so then get dressed. When I finally looked at my mobile phone, it was already 8:24 AM! I was so pissed! I quickly washed up. My mum brought in my P.E clothes and attempted to dry it with the heater, except ... she just didn't bother to bring in my jumper as well. Anyways, I had sport today so I needed $10 - bus money + food. But she only gave me $5. So another day, I starved. This time, I was forced to starve. Sarina was so nice to me, she gave me her jacket to wear at lunch and bought me a chocolate bar. Kelly was also nice to give me her scarf and a chocolate bar too. Titan gave me her scarf to wear for the day. They are so sweet. THANK YOU, YOU GUYS! May good karma come back to you. Now, after tomorrow, I will purposely piss my mum off. That's how MAD I am at her. I don't know if I will really do it, but it feels good to just think about it.
Anyways, since I was late to school, Titan was late and I also didn't manage to pack for my sport stuff, so I didn't swim today. Rather, Maylina and I did boxercise with other people. It looks like a simple work out, but it's actually quite tiring! I was already huffing and puffing in the first 5 minutes. I kept on laughing at Maylina because she was making funny noises and faces when we were doing stretches later. LOL! She sure had fun pushing me in boxercise. Oh wells, I did the same with her, so it's okay. She was partnered with Thi, but Thi seemed pretty tired out for today, so I offered to replace her. I didn't mind since I felt like releasing some stress today and it looked fun. Keyword: looked. LOL! I guess it's pretty fun overall xD.
Anyways, another thing. I feel like I'm having friends issue as well. It's ambiguous, so I'm uncertain if it's there or not. Maybe I'm just letting the little things get to me. I guess I'm quite stressful lately. *sigh* I lost another kilogram. Anyways, I better get back to work. I have so much things occurring this week - actually, just tomorrow.
PS. Thi received her presents today xD!
Anyways, since I was late to school, Titan was late and I also didn't manage to pack for my sport stuff, so I didn't swim today. Rather, Maylina and I did boxercise with other people. It looks like a simple work out, but it's actually quite tiring! I was already huffing and puffing in the first 5 minutes. I kept on laughing at Maylina because she was making funny noises and faces when we were doing stretches later. LOL! She sure had fun pushing me in boxercise. Oh wells, I did the same with her, so it's okay. She was partnered with Thi, but Thi seemed pretty tired out for today, so I offered to replace her. I didn't mind since I felt like releasing some stress today and it looked fun. Keyword: looked. LOL! I guess it's pretty fun overall xD.
Anyways, another thing. I feel like I'm having friends issue as well. It's ambiguous, so I'm uncertain if it's there or not. Maybe I'm just letting the little things get to me. I guess I'm quite stressful lately. *sigh* I lost another kilogram. Anyways, I better get back to work. I have so much things occurring this week - actually, just tomorrow.
PS. Thi received her presents today xD!
Tuesday 3 June 2008
rainy winter
Many things have occurred before winter began. For example, Titan and I went to an art exhibition of Matthew Hyuhn and his group of artists. Did you know that he was from our school and came first for business studies, in the state, but gave it up for art. Their artworks were oh so cool and interesting, as well as cute!
Trang and Kelly.
Loyee, Cindy and the Vietnamese students.
PS. Sarina showed us the kimono and it was oh so COOL! Sarina's so good and home-made things! xD
PSS. The students were from Minh Kai High School in Vietname =).
Wall artwork.
I saw Jessica, with a friend, going to a piercing shop. She said that her friend was doing his tongue. I haven't seen her since Amy's birthday party. It was surprising to see her here in Cabramatta after all, she does live in East Hills. Anyways,we also saw Andy, with a friend, walking home. I've also went to dance lessons, with my cousin, and boy was it tiring?! I finally know how to do proper sit ups but... I'm now having trouble with doing proper push ups T_T! Anyways, in grade sports today we learnt how to tumble in the water =D! I wish I can play around with the flippers. It was extra cold today and my pants, shoes AND socks were went. I couldn't zip up my pants because they're broken. *sigh* Anyways, due to the rain, we won't be having the athletics carnival tomorrow. I believe it is postponed... I hope it is anyways. Hence, we need to prepare for our Ext. English debate! NO! Luckily, we're the last group to debate. *sigh* I'm the third speaker of the team so I guess I'll be doing a lot of rebutting and reinforcing my team's argument. We don't even have a proper team line yet! By the way, the international students leaves tomorrow meaning, today was their last day. What a shame to see them go, especially on a rainy day like this.
Trang and Kelly.
Loyee, Cindy and the Vietnamese students.PS. Sarina showed us the kimono and it was oh so COOL! Sarina's so good and home-made things! xD
PSS. The students were from Minh Kai High School in Vietname =).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)