issues at hand

Talk about being unorganized! I called WYD on Friday to query about the rosters and they said they were going to send it yesterday. However, I didn't receive mine yesterday. Some of my friends did though. Have they forgotten about me? I AM allowed to work because I already went to training for it already. I'm pretty sure my mum sent my 'parent consent' note. *sigh* So frustrated.

Redemption. That's what I'm trying to do and what my father's going through. He called me today a couple of times but I didn't answer him. My uncle called my mum and thought she wasn't allowing me to talk to him. It wasn't true. I just don't want to talk to him. Talking to him just brings sadness to me. Talking to him is like giving him a chance. It took me a while but I ALREADY gave him a chance, a second chance. But look what he did? He played the 'pity me' act. There's a saying that goes: fool me once, I'm the fool. Fool me twice, you're the fool. Yes, it got me to sympathize with you for a while, but I knew it wasn't like that. And I was right. you weren't starving, you weren't sad. You just wanted me to tell my mum to give you money. You may got mum, but you haven't got me. Mother was saying, he's your father, you should sympathize with him. Eventually, they were all lies. He wasn't lonely, my stepmother was GIVING BIRTH. He just wanted us to give him money to help him look after the baby. If you said it straight to my face, I would've agreed. The baby's innocent. But no, you had to lie to me. All the moments I had with you, when I think about it now it only brings sorrow and pain to me. I gave you a second chance to redeem yourself, you just ABUSED it, and second chances don't come easy either. Not many are willing to give others a second chance, whatever the issue is. And don't pretend you're working hard to talk to me. that is a LIE. Everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie. Toby was next to the heater. Mum was saying how Toby wanted to be loved as well. If you are being loved, why reject it. It will only cause not only the person pain, but yourself as well. I know what she's implying. Call me selfish, call me slack, HECK call me a heartless b*tch. Because in the end, I am not going to give him another chance. It was his fault that he let the chance slip away, or wasted. Until he finally tells me the truth, rather than adding more lies on top of another, and its evident that he's trying really hard to redeem himself, there's no way I'm giving him the chance he asks so hard for. ALMOST everything that came out of his mouth is a lie. I'm a fair person. I've always been a fair person. I believe everyone gets what they deserve, or if you treat me right, I treat you right. I've always been a stubborn person as well. Don't test me, because I WILL do the opposite. I did with the driving lesson today, with mum. After a short fuse, I just did almost the everything the complete opposite of what she WANTS. I'm also an impatient person. So please understand how hard I'm trying when I try to be patient. Overall, dad, please just let me go. You're just hurting me. I don't have the heart anymore to give you another chance.