Simplicity at its finest is NOT what i would depict how my life was, nor would i suggest the continuation of my naivety however, as my life escalates into complexity, i hope to keep my optimistic hindsight on life in order to live. Just live. My personal ordeal is to live with no regrets, as though i will die tomorrow. I follow the path that will lead me to who I want to be: someone who people can confide in, to go to when they are in their deepest hour; that's who I want to be. That is my aim in life. Hobbies and interests make my path more flamboyant and enticing, while my family, pet, and friends are the reasons for my existence; the reasons why i try and improve myself. My lack of self motivation for change may be quite obvious, but it doesn't mean that improvement did not occur. It may be so petite, so small, that it's practically invisible, but i guarantee you, i do try. Indefinitely.



Blog By EGO BOX

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Holy Mother of God, Virgin Mary

23O811 - Alicja's 20th Birthday.

Last Sunday, MG invited Alicja, Paz, Gynelle and I to a Marian Retreat Class of the Banal Na Pag-aaral to learn more about Mother Mary. We learnt about the importance of her birth, her role as the mother of Jesus and as a role model, and her disposition. Apparently, Catholic people pray with Mother Mary, not for her, for they only pray for God. This event was girls only, held at Bundilla Sout Camp, Winston Hills. The idea of waking up at 7AM on a Sunday morning wasn't my idea of a fun weekend, but I complied to MG's wishes. I was picked up at around 7:30AM, along with Paz, by a friendly male church-goer; he lived around our area and was free that morning. Neither Paz and I ate breakfast so when we got there, we dug into the free hot chocolate and biscuits. Wasn't a really good idea... I had a quick surge of sugar rush hahaha >.> . I felt a bit out of place since I was the only Chinese person there and, possibly, the only person who wasn't religious there =S. 

Despite that, I still enjoyed myself. I was enlighted by the talks about Mother Mary, her role and her life. I guess I was really tired, but near the end, I started to drift off to sleep a  bit when they told us to meditate. My senses started perking up again when I heard the speaker's voice start cracking. I was even more alert when I realised she started crying, along with the majority of the girls =S. She was talking about Mother Mary's sentiments during Jesus's crucifiction. By the end of it, we were moved to the chapel, in the next room, where we'd kneel in front of an image of Mother Mary and Jesus. Mother Mary would be sitting down with Jesus lying on her lap, the nails and all taken out, bloodied ligaments and, in my opinion, he looked so much like a child in the arms of Mother Mary. At that moment, while looking at the portrait, I felt like crying because the cruelty of humanity finally hit me, but I felt it was too late for me to do so ^_^'. Actually, it was more of the thought of how Mother Mary suffered so much during Jesus's dying ordeal. I was thinking how painful it must've been for Mother Mary, so painful to describe in words. Even if you want to empathize, it's hard because unless you've experienced it yourself, you really wouldn't know just how painful and sorrowful that type of insufferable experience is. I was also touched by the servers who gave each and everyone of us hugs as we left the chapel.  I sincerely thank you. I could feel their pain, sorrow and grief pouring out to me. I just wanted help ease some of their sufferings by just hugging them. I wasn't suffering from this, like them, but I also felt lighter and more loved when I was hugged by them.  

For the graduation ceremony, we wore white shirts and long white skirts. To be honest, I didn't even know I'd be graduated at all LOL. It sure was a surprise to me =). We were given a certificate, a rosary and a rose when we graduated. It was almost like a university graduation, because of the roses and all, but the atmosphere was much more exciting and enthusiastic =). The servers were extremely enthusiastic and they cheered a lot for and every one of us when we graduated =D. I sincerely thank MG's mum and dad for the peach coloured bouquet of roses =D they were lovely, and I felt loved =). I would also like to thank MG for inviting me =). No, I still have not converted. Do I want to be? I don't know. I'm not religious but I do admit that I believe that there's some sort of supernatural omnipotent being up there, whether it be a religious figure, spiritual energy/aura or just a powerful cluster of magical dust. So now, I have graduated from the Marian Retreat of Class No. 65-2011 of the Banal Na Pag-aaral. Many thanks to MG's dad for driving us home, the ride home was... interesting =).


PS. Thanks Paz for the photos =). 

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Perfect

Perfect by P!NK


Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good,' it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look I'm still around

CHORUS:

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me

You're so mean (you're so mean), when you talk (when you talk)
About yourself, you are wrong
Change the voices (change the voices) in your head (in your head)
Make them like you instead

So complicated, look how big you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, see you done the same

CHORUS:

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me

The whole world stares while I swallow the fear 
The only thing I should be drinking as an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and we tried tried tried
But we try to hard, it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics 'cause they're everywhere
They don't like my genes, they don't get my hair
Strange ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that? Why do I do that?


CHORUS:

Ooh, pretty, pretty, pretty
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me
You are perfect to me
You're perfect, you're perfect to me
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me
You are perfect to me

A song to remind everyone that even if they feel imperfect right now, one day, a special person will come by your way and tell you that you're perfect to them. You're never nothing. Everyone have made bad decisions, wrong turns and just felt like they're nobody, a shadow, amongst 6 billion other people. I don't think to be perfect is to be flawless, I think it's the other way around. Your imperfections makes you imperfectly perfect in your unique way. Take your mistakes on board and just wait. Wait, because there IS someone out there who'll think of you as the epitome of perfection. Please have faith =).
This is a cover of the song by Cathy Nguyen and Jason Chen. I quite like it and I hope you will too =).

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Congratulations on graduating Adrian =)

CONGRATULATIONS TO ADRIAN FOR GRADUATING =D !!!

I went to UNSW to congratulate Adrian for graduating from Commerce/Law on Monday. Luckily I bumped into Elwin and Vincent at the convenient store at Central station or else I would've had trouble looking for Adrian on campus =). So congratulations for graduating Adrian =D. It's been more than 5 years but you finally did it! You graduated =D. I hope you made wonderful memories during your last moments of being a university student =). To be honest, I felt quite tired that day since I only had one hour of sleep the night before but since I deeply respected Adrian, I was willing to make the trek down to UNSW =). He's been such a helpful, friendly and nice mentor/senior to me that the least I could do was to go there an congratulate him on graduating =). Anyways, many thanks to Elwin, Vincent, Chris and Tasman for accompanying me home =). If you didn't, I think I would've slept on the train... LOL!