Open Day

31O8O8 - Mei's 17th Birthday.

Yesterday was Open Day for UTS and USYD. Mimi, Vicky and I decided to go to USYD, although the free barbecue at UTS was tempting. Mimi bought us a bag of lollies, which I seriously need to thank her for because it wasn't that cheap! Though, I did pay her half the price, by the end of the day, because I felt bad.

Anyways, we went talking around, looking for different lectures. We grabbed a booklet for Mimi about international exchange students, and studying abroad. We went to the 'Wallace Lecture' thinking it was the veterinary lecture. We weren't sure what the lecture was actually about, though we did pick up the hints from the words 'application,' 'degree.' and etc. Finally, we found the lecture however, we left half way since Vicky wanted to go to the law lecture instead. Later, we all split because everyone wanted to go to somewhere different. Most of the time I was with Mimi. Later, we saw Shirley, Shirley and Carmen and went viewing different museums at the university. I took quite a lot of different books and brochures from the different information stores. I can't help it! I'm Asian!

After a while, we met up with more Seftoners at the biology section. And I get to touch different types of insects and bugs, as well as snakes! We played with DNA and we answered maths question. For the first time in my life, I felt so smart because I got 2 stickers saying I'm a mathematical genius! Okay, maybe not exactly for the first time in my life, but I showed Kenneth that I wasn't dumb! PFT! Just because he does 4 unit maths at tutor xO! Oh wells, a 2 unit person wouldn't be able to beat a 4 unit person, but that's okay at that moment LOL!

I didn't realised how many Seftoners came to the Open Day, though we all went back together to the city. I made so many acquaintances with Seftoners. It was awesome, though I did feel a bit alienated since I was the only Canley student with them. Some of us already left to go home, so the rest of us split in half to go eat. Some went to Pancakes at the Rocks, while the others went to Market City. I went with the group who went to Market City. I shared with Mimi, so THANK YOU MIMI for the food. I guess both of us were kind of messy since we were eating spaghetti (Mimi's favourite food =D).

After lunch, we went bumming around the city. The others came back together and went to this ice-cream parlor. Mimi, Shirley and I decided to go home since it was getting late but before we left, we went to China Town again so that Shirley can buy some things for her parents. Moon cakes, I think? OMG! It's the Moon Festival soon! Anyways, we met Jennifer and Jason at the station, so we waited for the train together. THEY WERE GIVING OUT FREE COKE ZERO! I took two xD! On the train, we took turns playing with Mimi's DS. My gosh, everyone has a DS! Well, almost everyone anyways xO! Anyways, there was this puzzle (with 3 wolves, 3 chickens, a boat and a river). I attempted to do the puzzle first, but I failed and I asked for Mimi for some help. She didn't manage to get it, then Shirley attempted the puzzle and failed as well. FINALLY, I worked out how to do it, though I wasn't sure if it would work. I tried again and I did it. I actually did it! I felt so happy! WOOT WOOT!

At Cabramatta station, we went our separate ways, and my day ended with a dinner of 2 Big Macs and small fries. woot woot?

PS. OMG TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF WINTER! WOOT WOOT!

VOTE FOR PRIME MINISTER!

26O8O8 - David Chiv's 17th Birthday.

Guess why I'm typing this blog in red. I'm angry. You know why? Because I'm capped! It can be pretty frustrating when your MSN and net isn't really working properly when you have a pile of stuff to do on the net, and no, I'm not talking about playing online games and stuff LOL! Anyways, let's forget that! This blog is DEFINITELY not about voting for prime minister LOL! I mean, there's still like ... a couple of years left! WOOT WOOT! Anyways, no I'll be talking about the elections for SRC of year 12. WOW! Only one year left! Time pass so fast doesn't it? LOL! I admire those people that tried for SRC! It sure was a hard choice for everyone! I think in a couple of weeks, we'll be voting for Captain. Mitchel has his own campaign, how amazing is that?! Anyways, yes and no that we get to miss out maths. Yes, because it means that our homework wouldn't be due STRAIGHT away and no because we'll miss a lesson and it'll be harder to learn about the topic with only a couple of weeks left. *sigh* Mrs Wardman JUST have to leave on vacation JUST before our exams start, doesn't she? You know what's so stupid? I'm on my old MSN right now but the thing is, I actually deleted the program, so now I don't know how to go to it, though pop-ups of people signing into the MSN appears, so the only thing is I can talk to the people who just signs in, so people that didn't JUST sign in, talk to me? I'm not a very good conversationalist when I'm by myself LOL!

PS. We are going to have a 2 hour strike next Tuesday - yumcha anyones? LOL!

english surprise

18O8O8 - Andy's 17th Birthday.
19O8O8 - Maria's 16th Birthday.
20O8O8 - Nathan's 17th Birthday.
21O8O8 - Christian's 17th Birthday.

On Friday, period 8, we had a surprise party for Mrs. Paniku, our English teacher. Mr. Mckenzie and Mrs. Anastacio helped us with the party, so THANK YOU! Oh yeah, Thomas, Peter and Loreen helped collect the money in order for the party to occur in the first place, so THANK YOU guys.

Mrs. Paniku sure had a huge surprise, with balloons and poppers everywhere. We watched a video that Eric, and co. made, while Jenny did the editing. It was a pretty funny video and Mrs. get to keep it. We got her a bouquet of lilies and a gift voucher. We had a chocolate cake and a strawberry cheese cake, which was delicious! Katrina, Shain and Peter gave a speech to Mrs. while Mrs. gave a speech back to us. She sure appreciated the surprise and all. And damn, She sure is young! She's only turning twenty-seven (I think?). Of course, she doesn't look that old but she's so mature!

Anyways, we had a group photo and ate our cake. Overall, it was a fun afternoon =). Of course, the afternoon couldn't just end like that, hence a balloon fight occurred! I got my first hit by Kelly, then Sarina, then Danny and so forth LOL! We all get to grab a balloon, or two, home. May I comment on how lovely and pretty the way the serviettes were packaged, and it was all done by Loreen! She sure is talented with decorative activities.

Later in the afternoon I saw Binh, a four-year-old ex-Canley student! She used to be my bus partner, since we went the same way home. Boy, it sure was great to see her again. It's been almost years since I last talked to her, the most recent time that I saw her was when I was on the bus, in the morning, with Anna and she tapped my shoulder before she left the bus, so that doesn't really count as seeing her again. Anyways, she moved universities, so now I'll barely even see her again! Oh wells, at least I have her number =) so that's okay! Anyways, I better go do my maths homework now... LOL!

Overall, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MRS. PANIKU!

PS. I'm so annoyed that I'm capped =.= ARGHHHHHHHHH!
PSS. I think Titan's present is lost in the mail =.= or that 'company' just stuffed up my order!
PSS. Stupid msn! It's going off and on!

staff party #1

Get it right people: 'a floating restaurant, not a cruising restaurant,' quote Emily. LOL! You got that right!

Kim and Emily.

South Steyne Floating Restaurant.

Okay, so it's not a cruising restaurant, but South Steyne floating restaurant is still an awesome place to dine! The WYD staff party was held there, from 7PM to whatever. Kim, Emily and I took the train to Townhall station, then we walked all the way to Darling Harbor. Kim and Emily fitted into the 'smart/casual' dress code, while I look so damn formal! (PS. THANK YOU THI FOR LETTING ME BORROW YOUR DRESS! I<3you>) Anways, the weather was pretty cold at the city. Thank got we brought our jackets. Poor Kim, she was wearing a cardigan =(! I hope she didn't get sick!

Emily and me.

When we got there, we were sent to the wrong place by one of the waitress. She sent us to a group of people who we have no idea of. Later, we were redirected to the top level of the restaurant. We barely knew anyone there. After a couple of minutes of doodling around, Emily found her workmates, and then I found mine. Kim found some as well. Slowly, the boat got crowded. I could feel the boat rocking LOL! I was so happy to see everyone again! I went chasing down the food that they were serving.

Gillian and Cindy.

Sarah, Cindy, Crystal and Susan.

Crystal and I asked Pheobe to get us an alcoholic drink. That's because people that were 18+ get a tag to show that they were 18+ LOL! Crystal had a tag too, but she got it from R.I.C.E because she went on the very same day, just before she came to the party. I know, I know it was bad of us though, we only had orange and vodka, so it wasn't that strong. Other people, like Lucy, Cindy and Vuong had heaps more and you can tell when their faces are so pinkish-red! LOL! They look so cute hahaha! Vuong kept on saying 'jellyfish' and then flopping over LOL! How adorable xD! Gillian had to look after her at the party in case something happens or something like that lols. You know the glass wines were displayed on this table, near the entrance, and so many times have I been tempted to just grab one and take a sip! LOL! In the end, I didn't *sigh*.

Vuong and Lucy.

After the presentation, we went outside for the group photo, then we came back in and continued our conversations and food. Everyone took heaps of photos and exchanged emails/phone numbers. I 'almost' lost my handbag and had a panic attack. Thank God that my phone and camera was with me. I gave up a couple of times but my workmates told me not to give up and to keep on searching for it. For about half an hour, or so, Susan found my handbag for me. THANK YOU SUSAN! It was on the bar counter, on the inside. It seemed that someone found it and placed it there. My God! I thought I was going to go insane or something!

Groupie 1.

Groupie 2.

Crystal and I went walking around and exploring hahaha! We had lots of fun just seeing people, chatting away and taking photos. I didn't manage to take that much pictures with the guys because there weren't that much guys that I knew. Even if i did take pictures with the guys, I can't be bothered uploading them all LOL! Crystal said that my flash on my camera was retarded, or something like that. NO WAY! But I think Emily or Kim's cameras are much better than mine LOL!

Me and Crystal.

Sarah, Ravi and Susan

Crstal, Kim, Emily and I left the part at about 10ish PM and stopped at Subway to grab some snacks. When we arrived at the station, crystal parted way with us AWWW! We got home at about 11ish PM. Thank God my mum didn't scream at me, but she was worried about it. Luckily, we kept contact every hour or so, so it's okay. *Shush* but my mum didn't find out about me drinking. I feel kind of bad, but then again, every girl gets to be naughty once in a while, without their parents knowing... right xO? Anyways! WOOT WOOT! My first every staff party!

PS. The best part is ... IT"S ALL FREE!!! WOOT WOOT!!!

just chillin'

17O8O8 - Matthew's 17th Birthday.

On Friday night, we celebrated Nathan's 17th Birthday early at Star City. Strangely enough, the girls were actually on time, with the exception of Matt, while the rest of the guys were late! Instead of eating at about 6PM, we ate at about 8PM instead! We waited at Darling Harbor's Maccas and it was freezing! The wind was blowing really hard and it was chilly! While waiting, Cheryl and Nathan helped cover me while I changed into my jeans LOL! It was a bit awkward but luckily no one was there.

Nathan and I.

It was great to see Cheryl and Nathan again! Though, Nathan looks different to last year. Take it as a compliment Nathan LOL! I just realised something, I see Cheryl and Nathan once every year, or something like that LOL! I saw Kass and Eugene again as well! I still can't believe Eugene has his green P's now! Eugene was with another group, and Caroline was there too but I didn't get to see her because our whole group moved to the side of Ticket-Tec to watch people practice their dance steps. I made friends with Jessica, Ling, Justin, and Marcus. I didn't really know the rest of the group and some of them left early as well.

We were about to have $10 off the initial price for our buffet, but Nathan's relatives were nice enough to actually pay for the whole dinner! How generous are they?! It was their birthday present to Nathan. NGAWWWW! Anyways, that day I only had about 3 - 4 plates. Cheryl and I mostly had seafood. I thought Nathan was being picky with his food because I didn't see him at the table for so long, until I realised that he was actually getting some friends who got lost ^_^'. Cheryl was explaining to Kass and I about prawns and their effects on our bodies. I have no idea how Cheryl can know so much about prawns but it was fun to listen to her overall. I finished my meal with desserts and salad on the same plate =).

Cheryl, Marcus and I.

After dinner, we went walking around a bit and taking photos. Half way with our walk, we lost Nathan, Aaron and Daryll and we though they got drunk from that bottle of vodka. In the end, we found out that they were in the toilets. Kass and Ling went looking for them, and I entertained Jessica, Marcus, Cheryl and Justin with my oh-so-lame jokes and pickup lines ROFLS! After a while, we decided to look for them since neither of the groups came back. Marcus 'attempted' to go to the male toilets, and I'm saying attempted because the toilets were actually closed, then we saw Kass and Ling and asked them where the boys were and they pointed next to us. We turned, and ta-da ! There they were LOL! Boy, we must be blind or something! We finally managed to sing happy birthday to Nathan! WOOT WOOT!

Groupie - HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATHAN!

Cheryl, Marcus and Kass.

Jessica and I had to leave so Nathan and Cheryl took us half way to the station, while the rest watched a group performing, and I attempted to take pictures of Jessica, Cheryl and Nathan jumping but I guess either my camera was slow, or someone has slow reflexes. We took so many before we just gave up on it LOL! Jessica was so nice to take the same train as me and she stopped at Straitfield. I got home at about 10:30PM. It was a pretty tiring day, but it was fun! HAPPY PRE-BIRTHDAY NATHAN!

Nathan, you pimp ROFLMAOS!

spin me full

14O8O8 - Nona's 17th Birthday.

Today, we went on our business excursion to Centre Point Tower. I got shown around the levels below us, and then took the elevator to the top. The view was fantastic! It was kind of scary leaning on the glass and all, but it was awesome! The people were so small! They looked like ants! And we saw the top of the buildings. Peter sure is a joker, he said 'the humans looks like humans,' when he was trying to say ants. ROFLMAOS! I don't know if he accidentally said that or purposely said that to be a comedian, but it was funny! I guess it's just him because this wasn't the first time he said something so weird LOL!

Benjamin, the guy that guide us through most of it, told us not to joke about being terrorist and stuff LOL! Yeah, it would've been stupid if someone did. Peter and Andrew joked about it but got warned off by Eileen LOL! Anyways, the ride up to the lift was quite smooth, but they say that it can actually go faster. I think I liked the speed that we were going.

The food was quite delicious! We all were trying to eat the $38 worth of food. Katty ate so much that her cheeks turned a nice shade of rosy pink. Then again, she said it was getting warm. I don't know if it really was getting warm or if it was just me getting hot from stuffing myself with food LOL! We got kind of dizzy because the place was actually moving. IT WAS MOVING! Okay, I think the appropriate word is 'revolving.' Anyways, gradually people went for their seconds, thirds and fourths. I had five plates, amazingly enough. I guess not eating my dinner last night and not eating breakfast was a good thing because I wouldn't have been able to eat all of my food! Cathleen called me inhuman because I ate so much when I'm so little O_o'. Let me tell you Cathleen: I"M NOT LITTLE! Just growing at a really slow pace... that's all!

Thi, Lisa, Mitchel, Katty, Me and Cathleen at the buffet.

After our lunch at the buffet, we had some free time. Oh yeah! Did you know that it shows us how fast we're going up or down the tower, and that there's a camera showing the other people that's in the other elevator? It's so cool! We were waving to them! Anyways, back to my blogging. We went walking around and we saw this cat. Not a real cat, I mean a person dressing up like a cat. At first we were all so happy to see something like that, and took photos with it, but later we realised how perverted the guy was O_O! We saw him again, later on, so we ran off! Katty and Cathleen bought some stuff at Cotton On. I don't know why I just typed that, but whatever LOL! I saw the scarf that I've been looking for for about $10! If only I had another $5 *sigh*.

I'll tell you something funny? Katty attempted to rescue Cathleen from Lisa's grasp, and Lisa actually bit Katty for that ROFLS! Well, isn't Lisa getting a bit possessive with Cathleen LOL! But that's nice, since Lisa found someone that's even better to tease than herself. Can't blame her really because we've all been playing pranks and jokes on her LOL! Now she found someone to tease =). But I still like teasing Lisa xD. She's is just a natural =) ROFLS! And it's even more unbelievable when Cathleen, Katty and Thi bought green tea icecream later on LOL! But they didn't each much in the end, so majority of it melted away, awww.

The trip to the city was much more quieter than the trip back. I think it was because most of us were standing and that some of the girls were reading 'Twilight.' Can you believe that? I have never, or almost never, seen a moment when the girls are quiet. You know us girls, we like to talk right? But they were actually reading O_O! Whoa, Stephenie Meyer sure is changing the generation, or so it seemed. I'm not going to read the book, even if other people are at the moment. I still have a freaken book I have to finish and I haven't even start on it at ALL! So yeah, and even Jenny said that the book isn't really worth reading and that it's really girlie. Thi said that it was really straight forward.

Lately, I've been reading books that are, how can I put his, in depth with emotions? Like, emotions of negativity and how they go through it all, and in the end move on. I know, I'm becoming more stranger by the minute. I guess I need to thank Lisa L. for this. If it wasn't her that asked me to help her look for a good book for her, I wouldn't have came across 'The memory keeper's daughter,' and then I wouldn't be slowly reading these types of books.

Anyways, back to my day. The ride back was much more nosier, though some of us were napping a bit LOL! Stupid Peter, he placed a plastic box and a bottle on my head when I attempted to nap. Then Thi took a picture of it O_O! Oh wells, at least you can't really see my face xD! It can be Cathleen for any body's guess LOL! Wait... she was wearing contacts today DAMN! Who cares, it's just a picture ... right O_O?

Most of us stopped at Cabramatta station. Finally, I saw Cindy T. today LOL! And I almost miss my bus again. I pretty much went to sleep once I got home. That was how tired I was. Now, I'm finished with this blog for today. WOOT WOOT!

PS. HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY NONA =) !
PS. Thanks for the photos Thi =).

cold family dinner

11O8O8 - Kylie's 17th Birthday.
11O8O8- Jessica's 17th Birthday.
13O8O8 - Mimi's 17th Birthday.

Of course I don't mean literally! This Monday, I went to a family dinner at the city. I wasn't sure what the occasion was, but I guess it was to celebrate my cousin's and I birthdays. Let me tell you, that night was really, really , really COLD and WINDY! I swear, it was like the swimming pool entrance! Just a gush of air running straight at you! It was hard to find a parking spot too. Monday sure was packed, with the parking spaces AND the restaurant.

As usual, I stayed quiet and ate the delicious food xD! Though, I did occasionally conversed with my older cousin, William, though most of the time it was him, Marina and her boyfriend, Edward, that were doing most of the talking. It's not like I don't want to talk to them, it's just sometimes I find it hard to talk to them since they are all over 20. Their 'wisdom' (I guess it's that) are much more broadened, if that even made sense.

Anyways, the food came kind of late, and my cousins and aunt was commenting on the rough behaviors the waiters were showing us. I don't know much about it since I guess I'm kind of manners-deprived, or so people have told me. I guess I need to work on that.

Anyways, We finished our dinner and I just realized something. Females seemed to go to the toilet more often than males. Okay, so I knew that before but it was that day that it actually hit me hard. It's amazing how frequent our trips to the toilets can get. Do we have a weak bladder or something? I don't know if it's about the make up or something because when I do go to the toilet, I don't really see anyone being in there just because to fix up their make up. Then again, I don't really go to the toilet that often, so I may be quite inaccurate.

Marina and I had fried icecream, and it was HEAVEN! It was so delicious! The outside was melted with chocolate sauce, and it was crispy, while the inside was really cold and nice! I left with Marina and Edward when we were leaving the restaurant. William was going back to his apartment, and the elders were getting driven by my aunt. I was quite tired when I was in the care, so I attempted to sleep. I listened to the music and Marina and Edward's chatting away.

It's unbelievable, but Edward listens to 'The Yellow Submarine.' I mean, I thought it was some kind of kiddish song or something LOL! Oh wells, it's still good. I guess he hasn't lost his inner child... yet? That can actually be a good thing. He's actually a pretty nice guy too. He asked me if I was okay when I looked like I was on drugs or something when walking home... LOL! I was sleepy okay! And my mum wasn't home yet! I'm glad that my cousin found since a nice guy. She really does deserve the best, and I think he's may just be close enough LOL! What can I say? I can't really comment, now can I? I mean, I don't know much that's going on in their lives. But I really do hope that they're happy with each other =).

I watched '40 year old virgin,' half of it anyways. I missed the first half. It was pretty ... interesting? Quite a strange movie LOL! Then, I drifted of to sleep... xD! I told you I was really tired!

PS. I actually finished most of maths homework when I realized we don't have maths on Wednesday, today, and we have an excursion tomorrow, Thursday. WTF?!!!!

stop. rewind. PLAY.

It's unbelievable. The feeling's inexplicable. I haven't seen my primary friends in years. What can I say? As my mum drove me to Long's house, I couldn't help but reminiscent about all the great times we've all shared together. When I arrived, there wasn't much people, only Long and Stan. And boy!!! Was I happy to see them! We were all reuniting, jumping up and down and screaming our lungs out! Immediately, they commented on my height =.= DAMN THEM! Anyways, We talked for about half an hour, while eating the BBQ. Of course, I didn't accept Long's offer for chicken wings, though I did eat some Nam Neung (this Vietnamese meat) and it was pretty nice. A bit cold, but nice. Long explained how people had tutor and etc. Later, Stephanie and Kathy came. We played Mario games on Wii. Then Thanh and Harry came. Then Tony, Kurt, Jenny and Christine came. It was about 7 when the party actually started. By the way, we were celebrating Long's 16th birthday. There were so many food and they were all so delicious! We sang karaoke later and all of them seemed eager to sing. I just laid back and watched them sing. Long took many photos as well. Sadly, one by one they left. In the end, we went outside raving and playing around. Then we went back in, when most of the boys left, and sang karaoke again. I left at about 10:05PM. Jenny and Kurt were the only ones left with Long. I had a great day and I really do miss them all. I hope I'll get to seem them again for our reunion, IF we have a reunion. I hope we do though, I really hope so.

PS. Jenny and Kurt are going out =D !!!

caught red 'butted'

O8O8O8 - Marina's 23rd Birthday.

You may think I'm crazy since my the title of this blog doesn't make sense ... at ALL! But you'll find very soon why my title is like that =) and it's all because of Cathleen. Awww, You know we love you! xD

Anyways, just yesterday, we went on an 'adventure' for Biology. We were examining various plant species and collecting them to scrutinize them under our microbes. I kid. We didn't have enough time to observe them under our microbes =). We went walking along side the creek and it was GREAT fun. Although the sides were slippery and muddy, it was a great adventure. Even Minhky had that Idiana Jones music on ROFLS! Anyways, I managed to grab hold of a vegetable looking plant. Lisa said it looked . . . dead? Anyways, we continued our journey across the creek, and back again. We had to go around this humongous tree and Cathleen, that poor and hilarious girl, in order to stable herself, she stepped on something that wasn't there and fell. In the process, she held on to two branches and the branches were broking in slow motion! ROFLS! it was so funny! What a Kodak moment! In the end, her butt was all red with mud. ROFLS! Anyways, back to my story, we wandered into a family's garden by accident, so we headed back to the rest of the group. Later, Maylina was chucking around this branch of leaves on it and William screamed like a girl ROFLMAOS! Of course, in order to not bruise his pride, we said it was a manly scream though, Katty teased him for the rest of the day ... until he got hold of Katty's MP3 player as hostage ROFLS!

Anyways, there are so many talented people in the music department! At lunch, we saw some people perform in the music room. There was Antony, Kelly, Leanne, Bach, Stephen and Kit and each and every one of then were excellent performers! I wish I had their courage and talent. Anyways, in Kelly's performance, she called Danny C. out to do a duet with her LOL! They had to stop in the end because he forgot the rest of the music. That's pretty good already since Danny only learnt it for about 5 minutes LOL! Antony, boy can he perform! he can sing, he can play the piano, and when he does both at the same time he's fantastic! Leanne, I never knew she can sing so good! Kit, Stephen and Bach were excellent guitarists BRAVO to all of you!

Today is special. You know why? It's the 8th of the 8th of O8! The Olympics on today! And it's also my cousin's, Marina, 23rd birthday! HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY JIE JIE! Well, ain't she lucky today! Chinese people say that the number 8 is a lucky number LOL! I feel so unlucky lately. I also feel like such a failure *sigh*. Oh wells. The future is where my improvements will reveal itself ... if that even makes sense! ROFLS! Oh wells =). Anyways, I have to comment about Peter D2. Why of all blogs he read, he had to read the previous blog. That's like one of my most personal blogs! Okay, it's a blog, it's supposed to be read ... DUH! But still, I thought people hardly even READ my blog to begin with. *sigh* Oh wells, what's done is done. Que sera sera.

a flat world

First off, I'd like to say how much I appreciated that my friends cared about me when I went missing, and how they expressed their worries to me. Thank you for caring about me. I guess that answers my question from my previous blog.

Yes, I failed my maths exam, and yes I was utterly crushed. Yes, I went to the school councilor for the rest of the day and yes, I was afraid of going to school today. I did not tell my mum this because I didn't want to upset her, but I guess I already did when I didn't go to school today. I was afraid of having another break down when I get my results back from Chemistry. I was afraid I would start thinking about negative things again. It's a crazy thing and I know that I shouldn't think about it. But my once round world, became flat. Yes, I admit that I wasn't serious with my study before. I guess I was way too focus to stop myself getting more depressed by doing things that I like that I didn't realise how close the future was getting. And when I finally realise it, and is willing to put more effort, and my absolute best, things began crashing down again. For example, my tutor. When I finally found peace while doing maths at tutor, after issues have revealed itself, he decided that it just wasn't worth it for both of us that I continue going to tutor. Hence, I got expelled. I talked to Kelly about it and she told me how he thought of expelling me earlier. Now, I don't know if he wanted to expel me after the talk we had, or before it. I knew he wanted to expel me before our little talk, but afterwards I don't know. First, I understood him to let me go, because I wasn't the best of students. Then, I got angry for letting me go at the time I needed him the most, then I slowly forgave him again because there's no use of being angry at him. It doesn't rewind back time, nor does it do any good to me. I don't know what exactly should I do anymore. Every time I think about doing my best, I think how I did my best before but failed. It's like I fear of school now. I feel like I'm a failure, a disappointment to my mother, after all she done for me. No, she isn't my hero. No, she isn't someone I respect. But yes, she is someone I really care and love. I feel like I'm just another somebody on this planet.

I remember, I asked a friend what kind of person they want to me. One said a successful person, one said an inspiration and another said an unforgettable person. My answer to that question is a reliable person who people can confide in, or seek help from. My question to myself, will I ever become that type of person? The journey of life - I would define it as the adventure of seeking who you are, or aiming to be who you want to be. This song I'm listening to right now, Because You Love Me, it really touches me. LOL. I laugh dryly. No, I'm not going to suicide, even though thoughts are gradually filling my head with notions. To aim for my goal in life, I won't do that. Life is too short already, is it worth it to die when there' so much things to do. Besides, my mum needs me. She has only me left in her family. Only me. Though... Toby is still there. I don't know. I don't know. I wonder if you'll ever understand a person who feels like they want to suicide, or hurt themselves. I wonder, would you see them as abnormal people, or would you pity them, or would you sympathize with them. For me? No, I wouldn't see them as abnormal people, no I wouldn't pity them. Yes, I would sympathize with them. They aren't abnormal, they are people too, they just seem to think suicide or hurting themselves is the only solution to properly express themselves, or they are trying to erase the pain in their hearts by hurting themselves physically. I wouldn't pity them. Yes, they are damaged people, but they are just people too. They might see it as an insult if you pity them. So hence, I would sympathize with them, for I am suffering from similar feelings.

You know, I hate it how people dress up as Emos just because they think its cool. And yes, I've been there and done that, but now I've learnt my lesson. Gothic and Emo are different. Although, they can be classified in the same category, they aren't the same thing. Gothic are more... darkly artistic in their perspectives, while Emo people are more... negative about their thoughts. It's two different issues we're talking about it. Don't they understand that Emo people dress like that to express themselves physically of how they are feeling inside. They aren't doing it as a fashion. Please, stop insulting the Emos if you're just doing things for fun, or that you think it looks cool. Thank You.

PS. I apologise for the misunderstandings, or the sorrow I've caused for many. I'm sincerely sorry.

i forgot

O4O8O8 - Elliot's 18th Birthday.
O4O8O8 - Sandhya's 17th Birthday.
O5O8O8 - Karena's 17th Birthday.
O6O8O8 - Kivi's 15th Birthday.
O7O8O9 - Jessica's 17th Birthday.

A note to Julie Pham: I LOVE YOU =) you sweet little thing!

It's funny. It's funny how trivial things aren't as significant as they were before. When we were children, every day, every minute, every second of our lives we seem to get excited over the simplest things. We get all exhilarated over the craziest times. We would laugh at the most dumbest thing, thinking there's always tomorrow to explore. And when something happens, we would fuss over it and make the best of it, hoping the moment to last forever and that only the happiest moment to live in our memories, to be reflected on when we're bigger. Of course, we don't plan for that to happen. It just occurs naturally. I guess, you can say that's the gift of innocence and naivety. Children sure bring joy to the world. Not only to parents, but to those that reminiscent due to their presence. Childhood seem to be the only time in our lives when we can be purely bliss from what ever we do, and yet we don't know that until it's gone. I believe that for one to live a full life, one should have no regrets when they are alive. It's fascinating how quick the years can go bye with just a glimpse. In one breathe, education is done. In a blink of an eye, you're living on your pension and contemplating on three-quarters of your life. The other quarter would be for you to relax for the rest of your years, or going through the worst hardships in your life. Either way, its life. I came across a book about immortality. A professor said that death wouldn't be a limit anymore, that life can exceed past the boundaries. I find it wrong. No, it's not wrong to wish to live longer, but it's just wrong to not die at all. I mean, to live in a world with no dead people, and only continuous births, our world will crumble due to the overwhelming, rapid growth of the world's population. Anyways, that's not the point of my blog today. As I type this blog, I think back to my childhood. How ignorantly bliss I was. I guess the saying : ignorance is bliss, can be correct to a certain degree. Now, as we get older, the petty issues that matters most, in our childhood, seem to diminish its value as we grow. Whether with intelligence, experience, knowledge or wisdom we gain more responsibilities, more major issues to worry about. Gradually, we seem to don't have time to think of the trivial things anymore. That's okay. Today, I seem to dislike the sentence 'I forgot' because it makes me thing of how people can just forget things just like that. It just makes me think about my childhood memories. I ponder if I would 'forget' things that made me happy the most when I get older. I'm not that old yet, so I wouldn't say I'm mature because people that say they are mature can actually be the immature ones. I'm on the road to maturity, I just hope I won't lose that little girl that's inside of me. That's all I have to say today. By the way, thanks to all of those that remembered about today. Here's a message to you all: I cherish you. I hope that means something to you. I laugh at myself. Sometimes, I wonder if I mean anything in your life. I hope I at least have a place in your life, because you'll always be part of my life, like my childhood memories. I know our bonds may be turning to thread, but it's still there. It will be thin eventually, but it will always be there. I hope and believe it to be so, I hope you do too. By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLIOT AND SANDHYA!

PS.To be honest, I haven't seen Sandhya in YEARS but I remember that she's a couple of hours older than me =).
PSS. Bash Jeffrey W. up next time I see him for FORGETTING!

No respect for Ls

I went driving again today and boy was it frustrating! Just because I'm an L, it doesn't mean that they shouldn't respect me and treat me as an inferior being! Talk about being inconsiderate, blind fools! HHPH! I'll show you one day! I'll be a great driver! Okay, okay, so I'm not the best driver right now and that I still need to practice. Driving past me when you're not suppose to, I'll let it slide, but butting in while I'm in the middle of a U-turn?! HOW CRAZY ARE YOU?! Are you blind or something?! You're like only a meter away from me. Do you WANT me to crash into your car or something?! Seriously! Cut me some slack, why don't you?! I'm a learner, so take it easy on me. Sheesh! It's like they are purposely encouraging me to crash or something! Peoples these days. Seriously!